Do You Wish It Was Me?
by LizTheBookNerd
Summary: Gale gets a shock when he turns on his TV one morning. The question is what will result in hearing this news? Katniss/Peeta. Katniss/Gale (but mainly one-sided).
1. The Invitation

**Do You Wish It Was Me?  
**by: LizTheBookNerd

Just like every morning, I made my way to my living room and turned on the television. After the war, life has been slow. Especially living in District Two where I knew few people and had few friends. Then again, I wasn't a very friendly person to begin with.

It was the same thing everyday. News that I could care less about, hunting, and going to work. Few times did something exotic happen in my life. Things were the same day after day. The only thing I found myself enjoying were my daily hunting trips, though even those weren't as exciting without my hunting partner.

This was my life though. No family that lived near me. Not a lot of friends other than the ones I left behind in District Twelve and Thirteen. But it was for the best that I left.

For some reason, this morning was different. I sat in front of my TV with the Panem news on - the news company that played from the Capitol all the way to District Thirteen. To start the news cast was the same old same old. They talked about the current President of Panem, prospering districts at the moment, and whatever else they found entertaining.

That's when something I wasn't expecting flashed across my screen. Something I'm sure everyone in Panem but myself found entertaining and exciting.

"Well, this may be the highlight of everyone's day! We've just been told from a source in District Twelve that everyone's favorite Hunger Games winners Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark are finally getting married!"

The rest I zoned out, too shocked to feel anything. I felt a certain numbness. Katniss getting married? That was the one thing she swore she would never do, besides have kids. I should have seen this coming. After all, that was pre-Hunger Games Katniss. I knew Peeta changed her more and more everyday. Not in a bad way either. She had always seemed happy with Peeta when she thought no one was watching. Before I knew it, she'd even give in to having kids.

I couldn't be mad at this, I had no right to be. I walked out of Katniss' life. She didn't have to ask me to. I knew it was for the best. I still felt weird about this whole thing. Was she really happy? Was she doing this for herself? I guess Peeta finally healed after a few years. I also couldn't see myself getting invited to the wedding. It wouldn't be fair to Peeta if I showed up anyway. I'll be honest, if I was the one marrying Katniss, Peeta would be the last person I would want at my wedding. And I'm sure Katniss wouldn't be too fond of me showing up anyway.

I thought how different things could have been. I wondered if Katniss ever had the same thoughts that I did, about what would have happened if it worked out between the two of us. Nothing ever seemed to go in our favor.

There was a constant thought in my head currently that beat out every other possible thought: did Katniss ever wish it was me?

Highly doubtful.

I tried to go the rest of my day without thinking too much about this newest announcement. I couldn't help but miss all of the curious glances people shot my way. I may not know these people, but they aren't stupid either. They know how I felt about Katniss at one time.

The day went on and the thought of Katniss in a white dress never left my mind.

The next morning, I woke up to a letter. I wasn't used to getting mail. An occasional letter from my family, a bill to pay, an advertisement for someone in the District. On the front was neat handwriting, handwriting I wasn't used to. The only thing on the front was my name and a District 12 stamp on the front. I had the slightest idea of who it could be.

I opened it slowly and inside was a wedding invitation with an additional note.

"You have been formally invited to the wedding of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark"

I put the invitation down, curious about the note. I was expecting it to be from Katniss, but to my surprise it was from Peeta.

Gale,

How are you? I'm sure you've heard about the wedding by now; I know they put it on the news. Are you surprised to get an invitation? I brought up your name to Katniss and she seemed hesitant, not thinking you'd even want to come. I didn't think it would be fair not to invite you. After all, you and Katniss were best friends. I would love to see you in the crowd and I know Katniss would too, no matter what she says. Please, consider coming. Katniss doesn't know I sent you an invitation so you don't have to reply. Hope to see you there!

Sincerely, Peeta.

This is why it is impossible to hate a guy like Peeta. He'd be willing to invite the guy who was fighting him for the girl he was in love with to his wedding.

While I appreciated the thought, I knew I couldn't show up. I knew it would be wrong. Katniss knew it would be wrong. I'm sure everyone but Peeta thought it would be wrong for my to just show up after all these years. Besides, just because I left the District didn't mean I was still madly in love with Katniss Everdeen, soon to be Katniss Mellark.

I threw the letter and invitation away. I'll never know if Katniss sometimes wished it was me over Peeta. But I already knew the answer to that. If she really wanted me over Peeta, she wouldn't be marrying him.

**A/N: Thanks for reading :)**


	2. The Decision

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews from chapter one! I was not expecting that, and because of that, I will continue this story.**

**Chapter Two**

Since receiving the invitation and note from Peeta in the mail, the wedding was all everyone was talking about. It was literally impossible not to hear about it unless you locked yourself inside of your house in complete silence. It was all over the TV, the radio, and the newspapers. People were gossiping about the big day all around town. Katniss and Peeta were like royalty to so many people and it's easy to understand why this is such a big deal to all of them. However, it was the last thing I wanted to think about.

I was happy for Katniss and I know Peeta is a good guy. It just made it harder to stay away.

Days passed and it got increasingly harder to not change my mind about going to the wedding. I had to chant to myself that I would only ruin everything by showing up. I had to tell myself that I am no longer the boy in the woods and Katniss is no longer the girl in the woods that we both once knew so well. We both live in completely different worlds now. Trying to convince myself that I would only ruin what was supposed to be a perfect day became harder and harder.

Days continued to pass. Then weeks and then months until eventually the day of the wedding was just a few days away. I was on a very thin line currently that divided me between staying in District Two or running like hell to the train station and getting on the first train to District Twelve.

The thought of going back home excited me. It has been five years since I've seen the place I grew up. I've missed District Twelve but I also knew that it is much different District Twelve since I've last been. The last time I saw home it was destroyed. Since then, they've rebuilt and created a safe living environment. And I longed to go back.

Another two day then passed. Just one day until the wedding.

Technically, this was my last chance to make it. It took about a full day just to get there by train. If I left today, I'd make it in time.

I kept telling myself why it was wrong to go. Over and over again I would repeat the same thing. I was in the middle of one of my lectures to myself when a loud ring went through the house. Slowly making my way toward the phone I picked it up on the third ring.

"Gale?" asked the voice of my Mother. She hardly ever used the phone, not used to having the option of the telephone.

"Hey. How is everyone?" I asked, trying to continue the conversation with small talk. You could say my conversational skills were below par.

"Oh, we're all fine. I've been meaning to talk to you, Gale."

"Have you?" I asked with a hint of questioning in my voice. I knew damn well what she was about to say.

"Yes...Peeta told me he invited you to the wedding but wasn't sure if you would actually come. He also mentioned that Katniss didn't even know you were invited. He thought that you might have at least told me if you would be there or not. He seemed sad that you hadn't mentioned anything to me."

If I said I wasn't shocked by that comment, I'd be lying to you. You can't say Peeta isn't a good person for a reason. I don't really know what he thinks of me and I've never really cared enough to ask him. He must really think my being there will make tomorrow the best for Katniss though. Otherwise, I don't see why he'd care. It's not like we were really friends.

"Well, to be honest, I wasn't really planning on going..." I said to my mother, carefully saying my words.

"And why not? It's not because of Katniss is it? I thought you'd be over that by now..." She said casually, trailing off toward the end.

I explained to her why I had decided not to. Everything that I've been telling myself these past months to convince myself I had no business at the wedding. I could hear my mother sigh on the other end.

"Well, it's your choice Gale, but I personally think it's the wrong choice and that if you don't come, you'll regret it. You're just being silly and irrational...but if you change your mind and decide to show up, you're more then welcomed to stay the night here. I'll talk you later."

I hung up the phone and her words sunk in. Was I being stupid? Was I making a mistake by staying away? Even after getting invited...

Before I could think about the situation any further I grabbed a suitcase, stuffed come clothes into it, and made my way toward to the train station.

**A/N: This is just sort of a filler/transition chapter, leading to the next one. But this seemed like the perfect place to end this. Thanks for reading :)**


	3. The Reunion

**A/N: Another thanks to everyone who has added this story to a story alert and reviewed. I like nothing more than opening my email and seeing a new review :)**

**Chapter Three**

I wasn't really sure what my arrival in District Twelve would be like. On the train, I couldn't help but picture it the way I saw it everyday for the first nineteen years of my life. It was nothing special but it was home. Getting off the train, it was almost like I was in a completely different district. Nothing was really the same.

Everything seemed cleaner and well kept. Instead of houses falling apart in the Seam, they were nicer and livable. Not every inch of the ground was covered in dirt and dust from the coal mining. I wasn't even sure if that was Twelve's main source of income after the war. A lot of things have changed. I made my way to the town's center. A lot of the shops were rebuilt and were here when I lived in the district. Others were new, taking the spots of stores who's owner had died. There was no whipping post. There were no peace keepers walking around. The Justice Building was nicer. The bakery was built, in the same spot it had been before. Tonight, it was closed though, the usual warm light not coming through the windows.

Only two things remained the same: The woods and the Victor's Village.

It may have the same name, but this wasn't District Twelve, not really. Especially to me.

After walking around, not running into anyone I knew well enough to talk to, I made my way to my Mother's, who was elated to see me. She said she knew I couldn't stay away.

Arriving just an hour or so from sunset, I didn't have much time for anything, so I just spent it with family. It was nice to catch up with them in person but I had one person on my mind throughout the night and I knew I had to talk to her before she officially got married.

I learned from my Mother that they weren't exactly doing a traditional District Twelve wedding where we kept it simple and private, but more similar to a wedding you'd see in the Capitol. There were too many people who wanted to witness this event for them to keep it small. However, they would do a toasting later that night. I knew Effie probably talked them both into this, not thinking that after everything they went through, they'd go out of there way to make the Capitol happy. Then again, times have changed.

It was hard to get much sleep that night.

The next morning I got up early, knowing sleep was officially out of the question.

I left without saying anything to anyone, making my way toward town. I saw the light in the bakery on and made sure to slip past it without anyone, especially a certain blonde baker, seeing me. For some reason, I didn't want Peeta to be the first one outside of my family to know I showed up.

As I made my way closer and closer to Victor's Village, old memories flashed through my head. Some were painful. Others were happy. It was a weird, mix of emotions. Each step closer to the village, the memories became clearer.

It was all still the same. The houses were built well to begin with and were still holding up well. Haymitch's seemed the same other than the addition of geese in his yard. Peeta's looked like it hadn't been used in a few months, not surprising. Katniss', like Hatmitch's, seemed the same except for the addition of primroses planted in the front. And if you don't think I realize what they symbolize, I can promise you I do.

I could see a light coming from a bedroom.

I made my way to Katniss' door and paused. Was I doing the right thing? Just showing up the day of her wedding? It's my fault that I waited so long to talk to her, but I needed to. This way, if things didn't go well, I could leave before the wedding began.

I knocked and waited by no one answered. I tried the door and it was unlocked. Stepping inside, it felt like I was 19 again. Everything looked the same. The set-up was the same. The furniture was the same. Pictures of Katniss and her family were up. The only difference was that some of Peeta's personal belongings now belonged in this house.

Spending so much time in this house, I knew where things were and I made my way upstairs to where I rememberd Katniss' bedroom being. The door was open and inside was Katniss, sitting on her bed in a light blue bathrobe, just looking into the mirror. She looked nervous but healthy. There was something about her expression that I couldn't decipher.

Thinking it would be creepy to just stand here and look at Katniss in her bathrobe when she didn't even know I was in her house, I gently coughed, trying to get her attention. She jumped, startled, before setting her eyes on me. Her eyes grew wide, expecting to see anyone but me at her bedroom door.

We just stared at the other. Grey eyes meeting another set of grey eyes.

"I...Gale...what are you doing here?" Katniss stuttered.

"Your soon to be husband sent me an invitation to your wedding. But I wanted to see you before that."

Katniss' eyebrows went up, still not aware of Peeta's doings.

There was a long pause, neither knowing what to say. How do you start a conversation with someone you haven't talked to in years because she thinks you possibly killed her little sister? Not to mention, the whole girl you love marrying someone else thing.

"Well, are you just going to stand there? Why are you really here, Gale?" Katniss, who I used to be able to read so well, seemed like a mystery novel to me now.

I made my way into the bedroom and sat down next to Katniss. I could sense her tense, but she soon relaxed. To be truthful, I don't know why I came exactly. But that wasn't an appropriate answer for Katniss. She had her eyebrows raised, waiting for an answer.

"I guess...I just wanted to you one last time as Katniss Everdeen," not knowing any other real reason why without making things awkward.

Katniss smiled. "You do realize, just because my last name is changing, I'm still Katniss, right?"

At least I made her smile. And then I smiled "Yes, I guess you're right."

"Since I am still Katniss, I also know you're lying when you say that. But that's fine."

"I guess I just missed you, Catnip."

Katniss froze at hearing my old nickname for her.

"It's been so long since anyone has called me that, granted that you're the only one who ever did."

Another pause in the conversation. Maybe I made a mistake in coming.

"Gale, you do realize that I don't blame you over Prim's death anymore, right?"

Okay, so maybe I didn't make a mistake in coming after all. I let her continue.

"I mean, it's a possibility, but it's been so long now and, while I'm not over it, I can't put all the blame on you...and I missed you."

A feeling of relief instantly spread through me. Maybe things would go back to normal. I could move back to Twelve and start a life here. Live close to Katniss and my family. We talked a bit longer, the conversation becoming more natural. It was nice. Close to nine, Katniss mentioned something about needing to get ready for the wedding and how her prep team from the games would come over to fix her hair and makeup. At the mention of the wedding, an alarm went off inside of me. I hadn't expected this reunion with Katniss to go so well. If anything, I was expecting to be back on the train to District Two by now. But for some reason, I felt like I couldn't let Katniss marry Peeta before she knew that I still loved her.

I felt like, and it's a mystery to me how I felt this way now, that maybe if Katniss knew I loved her I would stand a chance. Maybe it was irrational, stupid even, but I needed her to know. I felt like I wouldn't be able to get the words properly across though. So in a moment of panic, I grabbed a hold of her wrist, stood up, and pulled her toward me. Katniss was shocked and before I could see her relax, I pulled her in for a kiss.

Here I was, back in District Twelve, kissing the soon to be Katniss Mellark.

And the most surprising thing, after a few seconds of feeling as though I was kissing a statue, I could feel her kiss me back.

**A/N: Oh! ;) I was thinking about cutting this off around the time Katniss first sees Gale, but I decided to be nice and leave it off here. I had this last sentence in my head basically all week long. But I was so busy that I didn't have time until today to post. Junior year sucks folks. So I hope you like this. I'm seeing maybe two to three more chapters left in this. Please, keep the description in mind before you decide to hate me, love me, or stop reading. Thanks for reading!**


	4. The Reaction

**A/N: You can't understand how much I enjoyed your angry reviews :)**

**Chapter Four**

I didn't get to enjoy the sensation of Katniss' soft lips - which tasted of a combination of bread and cinnamon- for long before Katniss pushed me away, hard. Her eyes were wide, a touch of bewilderment and anger mixed together.

"Gale..." Katniss whispered and shook her head. The only thing she seemed to be able to say was my name. We stood there in silence. This wasn't something we could simply ignore but I knew it wasn't going to be a fun conversation.

Katniss sat on her bed with her hands covering her face. I could only imagine the thoughts going through her mind.

She let out a little sigh and looked at me before asking "Why?"

"It seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

"You thought the right thing to do was kiss a women on her wedding day when you aren't the groom?" Katniss asked, disbelief in her voice.

"Well when you put it that way..."

"In what other way could I put it, Gale?"

A brief silence passed between us. Katniss wouldn't say anything until I explained myself.

"Look, I know I should have come to see you sooner. I've been away for so long. I just though you'd still be mad at me, after everything that happened. I didn't think there was any possibility for an us. And then I heard that you were marrying...and knew this was my last chance. I didn't even decide until yesterday that I was actually going to show up today. And now I'm here and made a rash decision, Catnip. I still care about you...a lot."

"Gale..."

"I know, you're with Peeta now. But you can't tell me that kiss didn't make you think about the possibility of us."

Katniss didn't respond, looking at her feet. She looked like there was something she wanted to say, but didn't know how to say it.

So I continued. "You can't tell me that kiss meant nothing you know. You kissed me back."

Katniss let out a sigh. Clearly, this was not the conversation she wanted to be having right now.

"Look, I'm just going to be honest with you. Yes, I kissed you back. And I have no idea why I did, but at the same time I do know why I returned your kiss. Maybe it's because this was the first time I've seen you since I was seventeen. I've always wondered how things would have been if you stayed in the District. Would I still have been with Peeta? Would I be happier with you? Those thoughts never left my mind for a long time.

"But then I thought about Peeta and how happy I was and am with him. He makes me happy and feel things I never thought I could feel before. It hit me that no matter what, even if you were living in the District still, I would have chosen Peeta in the end. You were my best friend for a reason. We were both so much the same person. But Peeta...it's like he completes me as cheesy as that sounds. I realized I could never be completely happy without him."

I'll admit, her words hurt. But I could tell they were 100 percent true and somehow, that didn't make it as painful. But I had to ask. "Okay, then why did you kiss me back."

"I was afraid you'd ask that," she smiled. "I guess because this was my one chance to see if I was making a mistake and all of my thoughts were just to trick my brain. But when I felt nothing during our kiss and could only think about Peeta...well that made me completely confident in my choice. I hope you can understand that Gale. There is no more me and you. I don't know if there really ever was. But we can still be friends."

I smiled, because what else could I do at this point? "I understand," I said. She smiled by my response.

"Well...now that you're here, I hope you do stay for the wedding."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Katniss smiled, a true smile.

When the front door opened, the smile faded from Katniss' face.

"Peeta," she whispered.

"How can you possibly tell that it's Peeta who just walked in?" I questioned her.

"By his footsteps. Now shut up, I need to think how I can address this to him without ruining this day for him."

"Maybe by not saying anything at all?"

"No!" Katniss glared. "I've kept way too many secrets from him in the past."

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice traveled from downstairs.

"I'll be down in a second Peeta!" Katniss yelled.

"Too bad your prep team is running fashionably late."

"No, they aren't supposed to be here until ten. I just said nine earlier because I wanted some privacy before things really speed up."

"Okay, so what are you going to do then?" I asked.

Katniss sighed. "I guess you'll just have to wait and see," she said, making her way out of the room, leaving me all by myself, waiting to hear how much I possibly ruined Katniss and Peeta's wedding day.

**A/N: I hope this allowed most of you to not think so poorly of me anymore! I know, this may not have been the nicest ending either, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as last chapter's ending! Are you guys pleased with Katniss' reaction no matter what ship you are? I think it's a fair reaction. But who knows, maybe Peeta's going to call off the wedding! ;) Once again, thanks for reading.**


	5. The Confession

**A/N: Wow, sorry for the lack of updating. Life was really hectic for a while there. But here we go, chapter 5 :)**

As Katniss made her way downstairs, I sat on the staircase. I didn't want to be seen but I wanted to hear what happened.

Katniss said Peeta's name, trying to get his attention. Her voice was shaky, giving away that something was wrong, and Peeta didn't miss it.

"Katniss? What's wrong? Are you nervous about the wedding? Or are you having second thoughts?" Peeta asked.

Katniss let out a slight, nervous laugh. "No...no second thoughts. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. That isn't it though."

"Then what's wrong?" I heard the shuffling of feet. There was about a minute of silence before Katniss let out a slight sigh.

"Well, you see...Gale showed up this morning."

"Gale? I didn't think he was going to come," there was a slight sound of surprise to his voice. "I thought you'd be happy to see him. Are you still mad at him, even after all these years?" Peeta continued.

"No. I'm not mad at him."

I'm sure Peeta had a look of confusion on his face. "Then if you're not mad..." Peeta's voice trailed off.

"Look, I don't want to keep things from you Peeta. Not anymore. Gale did come over today. We talked and things were going great. I felt like there was a chance I was going to get my best friend back, even after all these years. But then...Gale kissed me." Katniss' voice got much softer and Gale could barely hear the last part. There was a deep silence in the house.

"Did you kiss him back?"

"At first, yes."

"But you pushed him away?"

"Yes."

"Do you have...you know...feelings for Gale still?" Peeta's voice was hard to read.

"Peeta...for the longest time, I used to ask myself how things could've been different if Gale stayed in the district. I don't know if the thought ever left the back of my mind, though when I realized my feelings for you, it was just that. A thought in the back of my mind, hardly ever brought up. That kiss with Gale...it made me realize that there isn't anything there anymore. That even if he stayed in the District, we'd still be where we are now. But I couldn't keep this from you. I just hope you can forgive me."

"You know I can't stay mad at you Katniss. Enough has happened in my life where one kiss isn't going to effect me life it used to."

You could hear the relief in Katniss voice after that.

"Is Gale still here?" Peeta asked. Not in a threatening way, just with a curious tone.

"Yeah, he should be upstairs...oh." Katniss said, startled by my sudden appearance.

"I was just on my way out." I didn't want to create any unneeded problems.

I was surprised when Peeta continued the conversation. "Actually...I was hoping you would stay. You're a friend of Katniss'. It would mean a lot if you could stay around. I know we've never really been friends but, you mean a lot to Katniss."

Katniss looked at me, remembering that I already promised her I would stay upstairs.

"If you're okay with me staying for the wedding, then yes, I'll be happy to stay."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. But I was hoping...well, maybe you would stay in the district?"

**A/N: Remember, I did say one-sided Katniss/Gale. I'm not sure how I feel about this one as much. But nonetheless, it's an update. One more chapter after this! Sorry about how short this one is too. Only about 650 words. Wow. There shouldn't be any delays in updating, so I'd say by next Tuesday :) Hope you enjoyed this. It's hard to get back into a story after about 3 weeks of leaving it alone.**


	6. The End

**A/N: Final chapter :)**

_Chapter Six_

A lot happened that day. Between the events that took place in the morning and the wedding, it was nonstop movement.

The wedding went smoothly and Katniss would no longer officially be Katniss Everdeen, but Katniss Mellark. To me, though, she'd always be Katniss Everdeen.

It was a nice wedding, mixing the traditions of the Capitol and District Twelve together to try and make everyone happy.

Most importantly, Katniss was happy, and it had been a long time since I've been treated to see her genuinely smile like she was today. Only Peeta can give her that happiness I've quickly come to learn.

I thought I was going to regret coming to see their wedding. It had bothered me ever since I received the invitation and letter in the mail from Peeta. It was for the best, though. My appearance helped sort out any confusion and it made me feel more at peace, knowing Katniss was happy and that it probably never would've worked out between her and I.

More good then bad came out of this day, and for that everyone can be thankful.

When Peeta asked if I would come live in the District, I was surprised. Why would he ask but not Katniss? Why would he even want me here?

The answer is simply because Peeta is Peeta. He knew I made Katniss happy in a way he couldn't. I could provide a part of her old life that no one else could. We could hunt together. Peeta knew that Katniss would never ask though, so he did.

After a little concern, I accepted, pleased to see Katniss happy too.

Things seemed to be working out, finally, even after all these years. I would move into one of the unused houses in the Victors Village. I would find a job in the District when I finally got settled in. I wasn't too sad to leave my life in District Two for a new start in District Twelve. There really wasn't much that I was leaving behind. If anything, I was ecstatic.

It wasn't the same District that I left when I was 19, but nonetheless, it was still home. And now I would be even closer to my family.

I felt content. I felt satisfied.

I didn't have the constant question, rattling in my head. I didn't have to ask myself if I made the right choice leaving the District.

I think it was the right choice at the time, giving Katniss her space.

I think it was the right choice, coming back, as well. Because now, I know Katniss is happy, and that makes me happy.

Who knows, maybe I'll find my own love back here in District Twelve.

But from what I've learned these past years, only time can tell.

**A/N: And we're done! The idea for this story came into my head, wondering how often Gale may have asked himself if Katniss ever wished it was him over Peeta. Then this six chapter story was born. I know that the last two chapters were very short, but I'm content with what is inside each of these chapters. But thanks to everyone who reviewed this story, especially the one's who faithfully reviewed almost every chapter. We also got over 1,000 hits *cheers*. You guys have been amazing, and I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! I will admit, a bit of writer's block hit me for the last two chapters. I hope you check out some of my other stories and continue to read more things I post in the future :) **

**~LizTheBookNerd**


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